


Lovestoned/I Think He Knows

by watyonameisgurl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining, a tiny bit of angst, mentions of cheating, past Liam/Dani
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 23:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4765289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watyonameisgurl/pseuds/watyonameisgurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn thinks that maybe Louis knows. And that’s what scares him the most because if Louis knows then it isn’t too far-fetched to think that Liam might know and honestly all this worrying is getting to be a bit too much for him to handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the Justin Timberlake song
> 
> I apologize in advance because this is absolute shit...I wrote it a few years ago and was too scared to post it but I came across it again in a folder full of unfinished stuff (which is practically everything I've ever written because I am a piece of trash and spend all my time lurking on the interweb reading good shit and wishing I could get up off my ass and write something that good) but I decided to finally grow some balls and just go ahead and post it so here it is...
> 
> Also, I'm not British but I tried my best to use British terminology cause I felt like it reflects how the boys speak more accurately, so if anything looks weird/out of place/not something a British person would actually say, etc. let me know and I'll fix it
> 
> Also also, like I said this was written a few years ago so it takes place circa 2012-ish which is around the time I first started writing it so yeah...Zayn is still there and Harry and Louis are still all over each other, etc. etc.

Zayn thinks that maybe Louis knows.

Sometimes he thinks that all of them might know and he gets this terrible sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. But then he thinks about how Niall is probably too busy stuffing his face most of the time to notice. And Harry is too busy focusing on Louis, and Louis is too busy focusing on Harry while pretending to focus on Eleanor (and then there’s Liam, and he’s so in love with Danielle and that’s part of the problem). But somehow it seems like Louis still managed to figure it out and that’s what scares Zayn the most. Because if Louis knows then it isn’t too far-fetched to think that Liam might know and _that_. Zayn can’t handle that. Just the idea alone is too much. Because this _thing—_ this _whatever_ that he feels for Liam—it’s sometimes more than he can handle. And he’s sick and tired of worrying about the whole thing but he’s also way too much of a coward to actually confront the others about it. Especially Liam because just no.

He tries to tell himself to just suck it up, be a man about it. Knows there’s no point in sulking and wallowing around in his own self-pity because Liam’s got Danielle and they’re best mates and he doesn’t want to jeopardize the band and this whole being famous thing is pretty amazing and they’re all so lucky to have made it this far and _this_ _big_. And honestly it just seems so selfish to even want anything else, especially when he’s already gotten more than he could ever have possibly dreamed of but he can’t help it. And stupid Louis and his stupid face always has to go and ruin everything, smirking at Zayn like he knows all his dirty little secrets every time he catches him staring a little too long in Liam’s general direction. As if Louis doesn’t do the same exact thing with Harry (honestly, he must think they’re all idiots to not notice the way he and Harry fawn over each other on a daily basis). But it’s so hard because Liam is all sunshine smiles and adorable puppy dog eyes and fresh-baked biscuits and home and he’s just so damn _good_. _All the fucking time_. And as terrible as it is, all Zayn wants to do is just mess him up, back him into a corner somewhere and just have his way with him. And it only makes everything so much more complicated because he feels so guilty, but it’s all he can think about.  

And what makes it even worse is that it’s gotten to the point where he can barely even control himself anymore. Things just kind of happen before he even realizes it. Liam will be talking to him, all animated and excited about something and he can’t even fucking pay attention because Liam’s _mouth_. Just. The way his lips curve up around his words when he talks and the way they pout out when he tries to smile while he’s talking and the way they’re just so perfectly pink and kissable and—

“Zayn? Are you even listening to me?”

“What?” Zayn drags his gaze up to meet Liam’s eyes and isn’t prepared for the intensity there, decides instead to settle on a spot just below his left eyebrow. “Yeah, ‘course mate. Just a little tired is all.” He rubs a hand over his face for emphasis.  “Just wish management would stop scheduling things so early in the morning.”

Liam gives him a look. “It’s almost 11.”

“Exactly.”

He smiles and shakes his head, passes Zayn half a bagel from the table of breakfast food spread out before them and takes a bite out of the other half. “To get your energy up,” he says, mouth half full, “’S gonna be a long day.”

Zayn nods, he’s not looking forward to it. All he really wants is to go back to sleep, but he accepts the bagel anyway, is just about to grab some cream cheese when Louis comes up behind him and swats him on the arse, winking at him suggestively, while Harry steals his bagel. He takes a bite out if before Zayn even has a chance to swipe it back. Zayn can see Niall laughing at them out of the corner of his eye, mouth stuffed full of food and he sighs to himself. A long day, indeed.

*                                  *                                  *

            It’s the end of their last interview of the day and Zayn feels like he’s running on autopilot, mouth moving mechanically as he answers the questions directed specifically at him and leaves the lads to answer the rest. When they’re finished they all pile into the van and all Zayn can think is that he doesn’t want to have to answer another stupid question about his fucking quiff for the rest of his life—he hadn’t even known it was possible to come up with so many questions about a freaking quiff. He’s all about keeping things interesting but honestly he feels like there should be a line when it comes to how many questions you can ask in a row about someone’s hair. He puts it out of his mind for now though, glad that it’s finally over, and shuffles into the van behind the others. He instinctively goes to sit next to Liam in the back and Louis, who’s piled in between Harry and Niall in the front, turns to give him a weird look, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

“Comfy?” he teases. Zayn ignores him in favor of staring out the window, taking comfort in the way Liam leans into him, arm warm and reassuring against his own. He thinks that maybe he can deal with the others knowing after all, as long as he gets to keep feeling this, Liam always warm and reassuring by his side.


	2. Chapter 2

 

They get a day off a few days later and he’s planning on spending it sleeping and possibly playing FIFA with Niall at some point. Instead he wakes up to a text from Liam:

**no interviews today wanna hang ;-)**

It’s 9:30 in the morning, so no. He does not want to hang. What he wants is to sleep all day and pretend that he’s not still obsessing like a 12 year old fangirl over that little “moment”—that’s how he’s choosing to refer to it in his head, quotation marks included—he and Liam had in the van the other night. He’s not even sure if that kind of thing counts as a “moment” or whatever since he’s about 99.98% sure that it was just Liam being Liam and there were no ulterior motives involved. The only problem is the other 0.02% of his brain just can’t seem to let it go. He stares groggily at his phone and then types out no in all caps followed by a polite little reminder that he is sleeping, also in all caps. Then rolls over and promptly goes back to sleep. Less than two minutes later there’s a knock on his door and he fucking hates the world because he is _sleeping_ , dammit. He groans loudly but still doesn’t move and Liam knocks again—he knows it’s him because if it were any of the other boys they’d just keep banging on the door until he answered. He considers just ignoring him and going back to sleep again, but then he pictures Liam standing out there waiting for him all hopeful with his big brown eyes and he feels like the worst person in the world for even thinking it. When he opens the door Liam’s standing there with a game controller and he rolls his eyes at Zayn.

“I know it’s still like the crack of dawn in Zayn Time but you’ve got to get up sometime.” He smiles and shoves the controller in Zayn’s face. “Come on, we’re playing Brawl, I’ve already got it set up in my room and everything so…” he points vaguely and then walks back down the hall towards his room. Zayn stands there for a moment, wiping the sleep from his eyes before he grabs a t-shirt that smells relatively clean, and follows Liam down the hall.

They play a few rounds and Liam kicks his ass every time because he is a dirty little cheater and Zayn says as much. But immediately regrets it because what ensues is possibly the most awkward silence ever in which Liam just stares at him all wide-eyed with this unreadable expression on his face, somewhere between angry and hurt.

“I’m sorry,” Zayn starts. “I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Liam won’t look at him though, just keeps fiddling with the buttons on the controller.

“Is uh…is everything okay?” Zayn knows there’s probably no point in asking, feels stupid even saying the words but he’s not really sure what else to do.

“It’s fine. _I’m_ fine. It’s nothing.” Liam sits up, plastering a smile on his face and holding up the controller. “Ready to go another round?”

“Um…yeah, yeah sure.” This time Zayn beats Liam and he has just a moment to feel guilty before Harry and Louis come bounding into the room all red-faced and sweaty. Harry’s hair is a mess, and his shirt is on backwards. Louis’s is buttoned unevenly, but he strides into the room with a ridiculous amount of confidence considering his appearance, says brightly, “Hey. Hi. Hello. Sorry to interrupt, just came to retrieve my jacket.” He glances at Harry. “I’ve got some _very important_ items in here that I can’t do without.”

“I don’t even want to know,” Liam says.

But Louis ignores him, grabbing Harry’s arm and marching right back out the door. “By the way,” he calls over his shoulder, “you really shouldn’t leave your door open. You never know what kinds of perverts could be lurking around in these hallways.”

“Oh, you mean like you two?” Liam says.

Louis glares at him from the doorway, but all Harry says is, “You’re just lucky you’re not our type.”

“Shut your mouth, you don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Louis says to Liam, gripping Harry’s arm and dragging him out the door.

A moment later Niall peeks his head in. “What’s all the commotion? Did someone bring food?”

“No, there’s no food, just Louis and Harry being idiots,” Liam says.

“Oh, ok. Well I’m gonna order room service if anyone wants anything…”

“No thanks, man. I think we’re good,” Zayn says, and Liam nods his agreement.

Niall shrugs and leaves and there’s another awkward silence before Liam stands. “I um…I think I’m gonna maybe go for a walk—“

“Wait.” Zayn grabs Liam’s arm and Liam plops back down on the couch.

“What?”

Zayn bites his lip. “Are you—is there—I mean um…are you sure everything’s okay?”

Liam looks down at his lap. There’s a long pause and then, “Dani cheated on me.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Jesus, Liam, I’m so sorry. That’s horrible.”

“Yeah.” Liam doesn’t look all that sad though, and Zayn’s not sure how to take that. He can’t tell if Liam’s just trying to hide how upset he is or if he’s really not all that bothered by it and Zayn feels horrible for thinking it but this is his chance. Or at least it’s as good a chance as he’s gonna get and so just for good measure he says, “Stuff her. She was horrible anyway.”

And it’s not really true, at least not in the general sense because, besides the whole cheating thing, every time Zayn met her at least she seemed like a genuinely nice person, but he doesn’t really know what else to say to make Liam feel better.

Liam chuckles though and it’s just like him to read Zayn’s mind because he says, “I know you’re just saying that to make me feel better, but thanks anyway.”

Zayn takes his hand and Liam squeezes it and there’s that “moment” again.

Liam laughs softly. “You wanna know the funny thing though?” he asks and Zayn looks at him, waiting. “I _was_ really upset about it at first. I mean, I really liked her, I still do kind of have feelings for her I guess, which is so stupid but I also have feelings for—whatever, it’s complicated. But then I asked her why and you know what she said? She said she didn’t think it’d matter cause she figured I was already cheating on her with you anyway.”

“Oh,” Zayn says and he should really work on figuring out something more articulate to say, but it doesn’t really matter anyway because the next thing he knows Liam’s lips are on his and _oh_.

His lips are just as soft as Zayn always thought they’d be and Liam’s amazing at this and he kind of wants to never stop kissing him but breathing is also kind of important, so he breaks away and when he looks down at Liam he’s grinning, big and wide and bright like the sun.

“ _God_ , you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Liam says. “It’s just by the time I realized it, things were already pretty serious with Dani and…I didn’t wanna screw anything up with the band, you know? But I figure Harry and Louis already have their thing—however messed up it is—so it’s only fair that we get our shot too, right?”

“Right,” Zayn says, and he can’t help the grin that’s splitting his face right now because this is literally the most amazing he’s felt since they first signed their record deal and he realized that this was actually happening, that this was going to be his life now, touring with the band and recording albums and doing interviews and seeing the world. And now he has this amazing person to share every single moment of it with. And sure, it’s not like they weren’t already sharing this whole experience together, but it’s so much _more_ now. Like everything’s so much more complete, like _he’s_ complete.

“I can practically hear you thinking,” Liam says. “All good things I hope?”

“Of course.”

“Any of them about me?”

“ _All_ of them are about you.”

“Good,” he says and he leans up and kisses Zayn again.

“You know, I feel like I should be surprised but I’m really not.” They break apart and look up to find Niall standing beside the fridge in the tiny kitchen. “Just try to keep the noise down to a minimum during sexytime, yeah? It’s bad enough having to deal with Louis and Harry and, quite frankly, I find it very suspicious that somehow you two never end up with rooms next to either of theirs.”

As if on cue Harry and Louis come bounding into the room again, clothes all facing the right way and buttoned up properly this time though Harry’s hair is still kind a of a mess, but what else is new.

“And what’s going in here? You guys having a party without us?” Louis says, but then he glances over to the couch where Zayn and Liam are still very much pressed close together and raises an eyebrow. “ _Oh_. Well then, shall we all get undressed and have an orgy then?”

“I’m game,” Harry says.

Louis starts walking towards the little mini-bar in the corner, “Alright then, pip pip cheerio, let’s break out the drinks and really get this party started then, shall we?”

“Oh my God, out! All of you, right now!” Liam shouts, and he stands and goes to start shoving Louis and Harry towards the door. Niall goes rummaging through the fridge and Liam stomps over and swats him on the back of the head. “You too, out!”

“But I was just—”

“Out!”

Once everyone’s left, he shuts the door and locks it behind him and makes his way back to the couch.

“I see you’ve finally learned your lesson about locking doors,” Zayn jokes.

“Shut it.”

“Shutting it.”

Liam plops down beside him and grabs the game controller, grinning. “So,” he says, “another round?”

“You’re on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on tumblr at your own risk at yaz-the-spaz.tumblr.com


End file.
